Todays Topic: Complacency
I think it's true for everyone in the world that life can get boring at times, we can all fall into ruts. I definitely can relate to this before my current manifestation of drug addiction wreaked havoc in my life. Understanding fully that I have always struggled with the disease of addiction I did enjoy creating the chaos my life had always been loaded or not. However there were times in my 17 year marriage where I thought I was gonna poke my eyes out and suck my brain through the sockets if I had to preform one more menial motherly wifey task again. It was at those time I could have learned what the blue book speaks of instead of creating the huge life changing dramas that I was accustomed too.
I have not faced this issue in recovery yet because I am still in the phase of.... Oh God please make my life simple.... I even have posters around my house with the accronym KISS.. keep it simple sweetheart. I am so sick of the chaos of my mind manifesting in my life that I long for the routine of boredom. Just as the reading states. However now that I am learning I am not unique maybe I will start working on some preventative medicine now for this malady that is sure to strike me as I continue on this path.
I have learned that doing new things, however small they are, creates a passionate excitement within my spirit that is akin to the feeling of falling in love with that really cute bad boy. You know the rush of a new relationship that us addicts thrive on? Trying new things produces a measure of that feeling for me. I can see how when my life gets to that simple that I strive for now, I will be missing out on that passionate feeling within me. Dangerous zone for this girl to hit, as that's when I rush out and make some huge life changing decisions to shake shit up again. Maybe already predicting the path I can make it my goal today to try something new once a week.
What's if every week of my life I strove to try something new, however small or large. Wouldn't that create a really fun story for my grande children one day? All the things grandma has tried in her life? I am sure there would be some interesting things on that list. I am getting excited just thinking about creating a list to create excitement!! Today in early recovery everything is new, almost daily I am trying something new and maybe that's is the bases for the excitement the new comer feels. Maybe I can carry this excitement for the rest of my life and not fall into the rut.... Ever?
No comments:
Post a Comment