Whew! It's been a few days since I have come and hung out with you Love. Did you miss me? Were you worried about me? Worried that I might have gone off the deep end again, gotten to wrapped up in a dark story?
Nah, none of the above. Just didn't really have anything to write about and was too busy in my mind working through some other things. Wait actually that is a bit of a lie, I was working through a dark story. I guess I didn't care to air my dirty laundry here. lol Growth or dignity? Ahhhh, well whatever it is the lesson that has come out of it is what I do want to tell you about.
Self Care, Energy and Chakra's.
I have played in the realm of self care many times in my letters to you, as well as Energy. I find the more deeply aware of these two things I become naturally the more I notice how much goes into the care of myself. I also notice how very few people around me truly know how to take care of themselves and if they do know, how many choose to abuse themselves.
I included in that list.
So here is once again my guidelines for myself on self care and energy. I am going to work with each chakra this time as it gives me a more solid focal point to tie in my self care regime.
The Root Chakra which sits at the base of your spine and spins red. Is the first of seven energy vortexs in your body. When I first began working with the charkra I spent much time visualizing them spinning fast and clear. Very little time working on the inner issues that caused the chakras to be slow and muddy in the first place.
This first Chakra deals with our sense of security. Security ranging from paying our bills on time, to having a home that brings us joy, to letting go of our fears. It includes relationships that we feel safe in and keeping ourselves grounded deeply into mother earth. Fueling our bodies properly and working them right falls into this Chakra as well.
I have let my self care slip in way of paying my bills on time. I always, always have extra money at the end of the month. Always. No matter what my paycheck is my mindset is that of financial abundance and therefor I always have what I need when I need it. My fear of being broke has crept up and now two energy self care sucking vampires have lodged themselves into my root chakra.
How and why? It's easy for me to see.
With that sickness that plagued me for well over six weeks I was unable to move my body physically without coughing up a lung and depression set in fairly quickly. Anger at my body for betraying me and showing weakness I punished her by eating ridiculously dead energy foods.
The battle between me and my body still rages I see now. My body betrayed me much when I was a child, I lack very little trust in her and my relationship is far from safe. Its a damn good thing I am training to be a hypnotherapist and learning to live in the Now and let the past be where it is suppose to....dead energy long gone.
Awareness is all I need to heal a life long ailment.
Taking care of my physical body is the root of all the other energy drains in my life. Healing my relationship with her is now my first step. Getting my bills back on track will help raise my mindset about money along with some affirmations. I have been grounding more this past week and because of that I am here connecting with you again Love. So moving on...
Sacral Chakra is about relationships family, friends and romantic ones. Its about sexuality and creativity. It's my cauldron center, where my desires are born. The place I feel joy and pleasure. Having fallen victim to my addictive unhealthy pleasures in the recent past I still play in the dark stories this has created for me.
The difference between the dark story and the light: Dark.... relationships are formed to benefit me or the other in someway. Desires are for instant gratification and ego. Joy and happiness is sought outside myself. Light...... Relationships are a connection to my higher power and an extension of myself. Desires are deep and primal passions for the purpose of my life. Joy and happiness are always in my heart and called upon easily at will.
With the abuse of my body through over eating and consciously eating toxins I have craved other things to lift my spirits and raise my energy. I have sought outside myself physical comforts and let my instant gratification and need for connection become dirty and tainted. As I say this it sounds harsh, yet I know in my heart that I am just clearing away the last of a lower vibration that has been with me for a very long time. I didn't go to the darkest places of my imagination as I have experienced before. Only skirted them.
Solar Plexus is a place of our own personal power, located right below our rib cage. Our connection to ourselves, our self love and confidence lives here. It is because of all the work I have done on myself that this Chakra stays balanced through this little bout of unbalance in my life. My confidence and my inner knowing that I am walking the light road is what pulls me through the last remnants of my dark stories. This is the core of who I am. In the negative this is one of egotism and narcissism. I can definitely border on that, a few people tell me to get over myself when they are in a negative place or I am skirting some dark desires.
The fourth Chakra is that of the heart and where we feel the deepest sense of love and compassion. When I abuse my body I lose connection with my heart. Self care is the first thing, when ignored, that is felt in the heart chakra for me. I will often hear myself saying... I can't feel my heart, I am out of love. where did the Love go? ....
With this recent vibration shift I learned a deep truth. If I harm myself by not taking the best care of myself I am not in Love. I can only feel Love when I do kind and gentle things for myself. The more self care I give myself the more Love I experience.
Learning what self care I need has been the fun part about learning myself these past few years. I love meditation. Riding my bike through the trails. Blogging. Reading anything on the mind and levels of consciousness. I love walnuts, I feel amazing after a handful. I need to cuddle with my daughter at least once a day..... the list goes on and on. Self care brings back my Love
The throat chakra.... probably the toughest energy to work with for me. Expression. Communication. Truth. I have been working on this one the deepest for all my life. This past illness showed me that I still have ample work here if I want to find joy in my lifes path. Being unable to breath without coughing, or being plugged up. My throat was the place everything had to pass through. Self care in this category is about speaking your truth in the moment. Telling people what you need when you need it. I asked for a holiday back in September and never got it until I got very sick in Febuary.
Feelings come through your throat. They come up from your stomach, your sacral chakra, to your throat to be expressed. Arts and crafts, music and poetry, dance and fashion are all outlets for your feelings. Creativity is not an option or a luxury in life, why do you think they teach it in elementary... its a release to your feelings.
The dark story release is the one where you spew your bullshit words all over hostages. Pelting them with your negative energy, your words like daggers. Afterwords you feel better but the negative energy is now seeking... you just spread your toxic venom like a plague... good on ya!
I have done that many times.
The Sixth Chakra is the third eye chakra and the one that I am in school learning how to encourage others to develop. Connection to your thoughts, actions.... your mind. It's where you visualize and meet you greater then consciousness.. that loving voice inside you that creates whatever your mind thinks and your feelings fuel. This is the power center of manifesting your desires.
One huge awareness here for me recently.... the stronger this energy center becomes the more powerful you become at creating what you want. This energy does not and I repeat again does NOT decipher a light story from a dark one. When I am unbalanced in the base chakra the root of all my chakra's it is the third eye chakra that will manifest that unbalance in the outside world.
If I am craving sex and fatty foods... my greater then consciousness will bring those to me in abundance. It amuses me watching the drug addict always find the means to get more dope...expensive dope. How is that possible? Because they manifest it to them through their third eye. The desire...thoughts and feelings are so raw and real for them that their consciousness provides it. The opportunities for crime and dirty money become abundant for them.
People that are that raw and real for their goals to become something also manifest the rags to riches stories.
Understanding that this power center truly just creates what it is you want, you realize that the power has always resided within you. There is not an outside influence, just you and the experiences you create with your own desires. This is why it is so important to learn to manage your thoughts and feelings... select them like you do your clothes everyday.
The last chakra or energy center is your connection to the divine. Unity consciousness. Your belief in something spiritual that fills your body with light and connection to all that is. It really matters not what path you take, what your belief is or who you pray to. Your connection to a star of your choice to help you understand that we are all connected, we are all one and the same energy and we all are in this together. It is that knowing that removes the feelings of abandonment, separation and loneliness. To open this chakra and let in the energy of connection is the greatest and fastest way to heal all your other chakra's.
There I said it all Love. Hopefully this time writing it all out, I will actually stay in a place of self care and love and really work at not abusing myself in anyway. Living in the Now I think is truly the key. Knowing without a doubt that there is no past. It is gone. Letting feelings come back to haunt me serve no purpose in my present and only create fear for my future. Being in this moment my connection to the divine walks me through what needs to be released in the moment, I no longer need to go digging. I understand that I can let go as easily as deciding to do so, there does not need to be two years of therapy as was programmed into us to believe.
So My love I shed the dark stories that have been holding me hostage and I move back into the light with Love and grace and an abundance of gratitude. And truly an overwhelming amount of joy at the realization of how fun this game of life is.