Friday, October 16, 2015

Where do you get your energy from?

Day four of my Master Cleanse!!

 And by master cleanse I mean so much more then just the drink fast I am on.    For me its about coming out of my addictive nature and resetting my dopamine levels back to a normal range with the ability to let go and let my body run the command center again.

I am very aware of my energy today.  Where I get it from and where I spend it.  I am an energy healer,  Energy has been a focal point of mine for well over fifteen years now.  As I dig deeper into this detox process as Mike Olaski from the Master Cleanse program advised, I am seeing things I already knew but have forgotten in my wheat coma.

Like I was taught in the twelve step fellowship, reading literature is key to successful change.  I have been living within the master cleanse website the past four days.  Drinking in everything I can in order to stay motivated to get through this body reset.  One of the common complaints I read about is the lack of energy people have.   At first I thought there must be a problem with them.  I remember the only successful time on the master cleanse before, I had tonnes of energy and felt fabulous.

Today however I don't have an abundance of energy and I am into the fast far enough to start seeing some benefits.  Upon waking this morning I didn't want to get out of bed.  My first thought was of my morning coffee heavily doused with french vanilla creamer and my home made cinnamon buns. Instantly I remembered I cannot have these and I rolled over and went back to sleep.

So I asked myself......   Is it lack of energy or slight depression?

After an argument with my daughter last night, one for which I could not continue cause I just didn't have the energy to fight with her.   I became very aware of where I spend my energy and the food thoughts this morning tell me where I used to get my energy.   Both spending and receiving are empty calories.  Processed sugars and fighting??

I question why the two other times I tried this fast they did not work out for me.  I was just unable to stick to them.  Both times I was in life situation that took way too much energy and I just could not continue to function as I was in those situations on just lemon juice and syrup.   I realize now how much energy leaves my body through my mental and emotional bodies.

My first time I was on the cleanse I worked at the weight loss center that fueled me daily.  Comments from my clients about my own weight loss and thanks for theirs fueled me to over full daily.  I was making great money and had a very great home life at that time.  The fast was almost effortless.  I wasn't using food as my fuel.  I was filling up on accolades and money.   Power fueled me.

When I tried the cleanse while I was managing a landscaping company, I didn't make it three days.  I just couldn't.  I was spending way too much energy in emotions and thought process and was getting nothing in return.  No gratification from the job as at this time I pretty much hated what I was doing and I was very deep into an addictive cycle of workaholism and romantic relationships(with a smoking hot 25 year old).   I wasn't drawing energy from anywhere as both my addictive cycles were draining me as well.

I am deeply aware right now of where my energy is going because the only place it was coming from was food.  In this total detox of my life I have pulled away from all the things that power me up.  I have done this in order to ferret out where my energy is derived from and what is healthy for me and what is not.

After getting clean from dope I launched into a beautiful fellowship of people that brought me to an even higher high then dope had given me.  I look back now and see how people can spike my dopamine just as much as unhealthy avenues.  Its why after six months of being clean and the fellowship high wearing off that i would always seek out a new vice or go back to the old one.  To keep my high going.

I am very aware eating cinnamon buns for breakfast daily is so not healthy for me personally.  Its an empty sugar that causes me to be lazy and depressed.  After awhile of this pattern I have even had thoughts of just going to sleep and never waking up I am so miserable.  Wheat and sugar have very very poor effects in my body,.  Yet once I start over eating them I cannot stop.   For me it was worse then dope.  At least dope kills me hard and fast but there is drama and flair to it and I get to go to another world.... starches slowly take my will to live.  Cannot explain why, it just is.

So the master cleanse is to rid myself of that energy source.   But where then am I getting my energy?

I am lucky because I work a job that allows me a super flexible schedule and salary.   I have freedom in how much work I do.  As long as my list of cleaning duties get done in a day then I am good to go. I don't derive much energy off my job, I am not a cleaner at heart.  But this job affords me the time to build my holistic practice and that does fuel me.   However its not fueling me yet as I need to get myself healthier in order to successfully proceed in that arena.

So really I don't need much energy for my life right now.  And that's why this cleanse will work for me this time.  I am resetting my bodies gauges.  Through the resetting I have the time and the limited energy to dig into the process and understand some fundamental truths about my own existence.

That gives me energy!

Here is a video from the Master Cleanse site.  It is chocked full of information about the cleanse.  I love the calorie intake part.  I eat more calories on this cleanse then I did on the weight loss plan from the clinic I worked.   And truly simple our bodies function on calories in vs. calories out.   Which means the cleanse itself does not take away your energy, its the things in your life that do.

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