Who Am I? Thats a tough question. I don't think I even know. I easily hide behind flowery words and funny stories. At 40 years old, I think my current journey is just that... one of unlimited self discovery.
I have three kids. Two of my daughters live with me, 21 and 13, and a my son lives with my ex husband. He is 12. That is my son, not my ex. Well I guess that depends on if we are talking mental age or physical or, maybe dog years!
Actually, I get along well with my Ex. We were together 17 years and been apart for 5. I am living the experience I have always dreamed for myself now and am much happier then I was living the lie of happy wife and abundant mother. I am a great mother, just not in the tradition nuclear family sense.
I live in Northern Canada, but I do not live in an Igloo. I am a Mother, Friend, Lover, Caretaker and Healer. I am happy and delusional about being single and Love this blog almost as much as I love my children.
But enough about my statistics. Boring.
I started this blog as I did my first one, Reshaping Raven, to release the feelings within me that needed a voice. ...... Well... let me get honest... that's the partial reason. The second, hidden reason, was to get a guys attention. .... (Ahhhhh... Merlin, he was a beautiful man who was pulled away to the farthest regions of the planet, he hated my blog, so I knew he would read it. I wonder if he still reads today five years later) I think that's the motivation behind most of the things I do in life.
That's the delusional part of happily single. You would think being 40 I would be long past the teenager boy crazy phase. lol Nope, Not for a women who stopped letting her mind and heart develop at that ripeness of age. It is said that drugs stunt your mental growth when you start using... maybe its like coffee to short people?
Oh yes, and I am a recovering from drug addiction and food addiction and boy addiction and well anything that makes me feel good and I want more and more and more of until I kill the good feeling and I become a slave to it. Forever chasing the Dragon.. or the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
But I digress.... a common occurrence for me, I apologize now. Master of distraction.
The reason I started this blog was to share my story. To share my journey out of drug addiction and victim mentality. Over the past year I realize that when I have nothing to write about because my life is calm and peaceful, yet I longed to write, I dig up drama. I get involved with the most toxic guy I can find... The almost half my age super male hottie at work kinda drama. Almost losing my job because of it kind of drama and having to place and hold boundaries painfully kind of drama. UGH.
But moving on...
So now I have revamped the look of my blog and created a new title and focus for it as well.
I am a trained hypnotherapist. I have spent much time in research of addiction and the mind. I am trained in Reiki and I am a practiced card reader. I teach meditation techniques and enjoy guiding people who are ready into their highest potentials.
I am fascinated with the power of our minds.
I am embarking on a quest to rewire my mind. My mind fires up improperly from the effects of drugs and repeated patterning. My mind was wired incorrectly from childhood trauma's and from the teachings of an inexperienced village of young co-dependents and alcoholic family members. ( No blame pointed, it was a way of the times)
Instead of creating drama to give myself the creative outlet I need in order to be comfortable and happy, I am going to find a purpose that helps me move forward along my path of self discovery and mental health. Beyond continually creating a problem and staying in my drama, I am going to experience a way out. I am re-wiring my thoughts and feelings and aligning them with what I really wish to experience in my life. Which at this point I don't know what that is, I just know it aint more drama!
So who am I? I guess I am a women trying to find herself and her place in this world. I invite you to journey with me and maybe share your story with me too. We are all in this together. We all have a story. I believe we benefit each other by getting vulnerable and sharing it. I encourage you to comment and share your stories with me as well. If you wanna email me dont send it to the email connceted with this blog I dont even think i can get into that one anymore. lol send it to email@example.com. I will show you mine if you show me yours.
Happy Reading. I send you love and light with each page you read. And money with each page you share!! :):):)
Love, B. Aka. Lady Vixen
Come Find me here!!